starting all over

the magic word.

2011-08-20T01:34:00.003+08:00

No, it's not i love you. it's i trust you. for me, people should concentrate more on gaining the trust of a person rather than trying too hard to prove that you're really in love with that person. when you don't trust someone, what's the point of saying i love you? face it, you're being a hypocrite by lying to yourself. you refuse to see what is actually so clear, but instead you keep on telling yourself that eventually everything will turn out the way you want it to be. if there's one thing I've learned through experience, it's that don't lie to your heart. only trust someone when you know that it is right to do so. and that's why at the moment, i don't trust YOU :)

I used to agree with this quote " "If you're in love with two people, pick the second one. If you really loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."
But now, it seems pointless. if you're not willing to let go of the former, then it clearly shows that the love you have for him/her is deeper than the love you have for the latter. use your brain and think. it's not hard for you to realize that fact. don't use i lust you against i love you.

unlucky number seven,

2011-07-21T03:07:00.000+08:00

Seriously, i hate July! a lot of bad things happened to me, and the month is not even over yet! there are still a few days to go until august. August, pleaseeee, be nice to me. i've had enough hardships this month, that i dont even know how to handle things and keep a calm facade if all of these s**** continue to happen..
However, i know i've been bad..maybe this is just God's way of showing me that i should change and repent if i want good things to happen to me..as the saying goes, you do good things, and good things happen to you, and vice versa. yes, i've had enough experiences to support the claim that karma is a bitch. but this bitch is really giving me a hard time this month.. financially and emotionally..

Who should i turn to now? :'(

now that's intriguing.. :/

2011-06-15T23:23:00.002+08:00

nyum!

2011-06-15T23:13:00.001+08:00

2011-06-15T17:07:00.002+08:00

2011-06-15T16:59:00.001+08:00

"Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom. But once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we’re closest to can betray us, and total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned-Desperate Housewives"

2011-06-15T16:48:00.003+08:00

2011-06-15T16:46:00.002+08:00

"Forgive and forget. That’s what they say. It’s good advice, but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us, usually, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want it to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled; old wounds will never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day, we’ll be lucky enough to forget."

2011-06-14T04:28:00.003+08:00

2011-06-13T23:50:00.003+08:00

2011-06-13T23:49:00.001+08:00

:)

2011-06-13T01:51:00.001+08:00

2011-06-08T18:13:00.001+08:00

things i miss ;(

2011-06-05T18:32:00.002+08:00

2011-05-25T22:44:00.000+08:00

I may not be the best you ever had, but i'm trying to be. I might say i love you too many times, but each time i say it, my feelings for you grow more and more.

2011-03-28T00:19:00.002+08:00

"What would you do if you could turn back time?"

My life is full of regrets. there are a lot of things that i wish can be undone. unfortunately, that is never going to happen. what i can do now is to just consider it as a lesson, and move on. i've learned that life is never going to work out exactly how i wanted it to be. shit happens, that's for sure. mistakes, mistakes, and more mistakes. sometimes i wonder, "will i ever get it right? can i stop making these stupid mistakes?" the answer is, never. although Justin bieber said in his song, never say never, sadly i can't relate to it. for me, life is all about making mistakes that can never be undone no matter how hard i tried. once the damage is done, things will never be the same.

take today for example. i've made another mistake. do i regret it? yes, absofuckinglutely.

U. I'm sorry. thats all i can say. will things be the same as before? i can only hope for the best.. please understand that what i did was unintended.

...now to continue with the never ending assignments..sighhhhh =,="

2011-01-30T02:09:00.000+08:00

kalau nda puas hati cakap bha depan2.
BULLSHIT.

it's starting...

2011-01-29T17:59:00.000+08:00

please God. don' let me go astray. i don't want to be who i used to 'be' in the past.

i need someone to keep me in control, and help me to stay out of trouble. like, SERIOUSLY.

love,love,love!

2010-12-27T16:09:00.000+08:00

2010-12-12T02:32:00.000+08:00

i've found mine. how about you?

:')

2010-12-12T02:19:00.001+08:00

Can't Nobody hold them down!

2010-09-09T19:12:00.000+08:00

2ne1 is back! Bigger and better than ever. They are totally going to take the K-POP world by storm. Prepare yourself for one of the most explosive comeback of the year!

tak dapat fikir tajuk.

2010-07-25T16:44:00.000+08:00

mau balik, mau balik, mau balik, mau balik !!!!
i want to go home sooo friggin baddddd !
i dont like being here. i'm lonely and depresssed.
the new friends i made here are great so far, but... it's just not the same.
the feeling i have by being here is different from what i felt when i was back in kedah.
there i have my 3 closest friend, so the desire to go home is not quite as much as what im feeling now.
I NEED TO GO BACK HOME.
4 september is still a longggg way to go.
(its cuti raya, fyi)
masuk tanjung rambutan ne sa kalau lama2 begini.
dah la tempat tu dekat ja dari sini.
jadi cikgu sakit jiwa nanti, bukan cikgu english.
haish, palis,palis, jauh,jauh.
5 setengah tahun kot sa di sini ne.
sekejap ka tu? try kamu jawab.
dah la kalu mau balik kampung pn bnyk songeh betul tmpt ne.
mau buat tu la, ne la.
sibukkkkkkkk la kamu.
tak cukup ka dengan penjara 5 thn lbh tu ja.
______________________________________
(a message to myself)
KOTOH la kau dette.
sapa suruh tak pandai buat decisions sendiri.
complain la camna pun, tak da pa2 da kau dpt buat sekarang.
mau berhenti? pandai la kau.
habis pastu kau mau study mana lg?
potong getah la kau. mau? tak kan.
sabar ja bha. kalau ada peluang, pegi la kl.
jumpa dorang rena, hanna, neeena, ajak tyqa sekali.
kau dapat tahan ne.
kalau tak dapat pun, buat2 tahan ja la.
just flash a fake smile, and pretend that everything is okay :D

2010-07-19T03:55:00.001+08:00

now its 3.41 a.m. local time.
im currently at the airport, waiting for the next bus to kl sentral.
from there, will be going off on a train to ipoh.
at least i have my mom, aunt & brother with me.
in my heart, theres a slight regret.
regret that i made the choice to leave uitm sabah & accepted the offer for maktab.
im only hoping that i have what it takes to survive 5 & a half years in ipoh.
homesickness is a sure thing.
being in a distant place without your family to rely on is another thing.
Lord, please help me to be strong. these are the times that i need your guidance the most.

just my luck pt. 2

2010-07-17T00:23:00.000+08:00

gedik betul maktab ne.
first2 tak mau bagi,
skrg, tiba2 la plak bgi offer.
just when im finally starting to get used to life at uitm sabah.
good timing...NOT.

goodbye AMB1P1.
goodbye Cluster A.
HELL-O IPGM IPOH.

thanks for the 'tak sampai pun 2 minggu' memories.
got to know some great people here.
will miss my roommates & classmates for sure.
especially that person.

my ex classmate, nang slalu buat lawak ya, mawa we nemuh :D

mari pusing masa.

2010-07-15T14:50:00.000+08:00

i dont have any class for today, so might as well blog my heart out.
padahal bertimbun ne assignments. haish. apa la lecturer ne rajin betul. malas la bha sikit...tetap kena bayar juga gaji kamu tu...(ne la contoh terbaik pelajar bangang)

been here for almost two weeks now.
so far, Uitm Kedah tetap di hatiku.
kalau la Uitm ne bapa sa punya, even for a day, memang sa tukar terus pegi uitm kedah ne.
bukan sa mau cakap uitm sabah ne tak bagus ka apa,
taapppiiiii, sapa la bha yang x lebih prefer kalau pegi kelas tak payah berebut naik bas,
pegi hostel tak payah naik tangga yang confirm boleh buat kaki kau tegap macam football players.
lain la kalau tegap2 kaki sa kena offer to play for Spain ka apa..boleh juga sa mengurat Torres tu.
ne yang teda2 bha.

the funny thing is, time sa di kedah, dengan panas dia yang macam gurun pasir tu, i always thought that, kalau di sabah, mesti tak panas camne, kalau di sabah, mesti senang ja sebab dapat balik rumah tiap masa,...banyak lg laa. yang mati2 la bha sa fikir kalau di sabah lebih bagus.
sekali, nah ambik kau, you got exactly what you wish for darling.
tu la, baru kau rasa.. the moral of the story is dont take things for granted bha..
what you have may be better than what you wish you could have.
sa rasa la..based on what im going through at the moment.
cant do anything bout it now..bak kata orang tua2, jangan dikenang yang sudah berenang..nasi sudah jadi bubur, tambah garam sikit then makan ja la.. that is the only thing you can do.

and the most heartbreaking thing bout being here, is the fact that i cant be with these munkies T_T

oiiii monyet-monyet sekalian... sa rindu kamu.. kamu rindu sa ka?

KPOP HOTNESS!!!

2010-07-01T21:27:00.002+08:00

the full mv is finally out!
to all you readers, GO & CHECK OUT TAEYANG'S 'I NEED A GIRL feat. DARA'.
i promise, you will drool over the HOTness of the video.
Taeyang & GD are the epitome of what a perfect guy should be.
this video just oozes chemistry between the YG family.
i'm not a shipper of DaraGon, it's all about SunDara baby.

oohhh, is GD making a shoutout to his girl, Park Bom? *wink*wink*

it's the butterfly sign! what do you know.
that's GD for you, Bommie is always in his mind no matter what.
this is heaven. YG family heaven.

i am soooo addicted to kpop at the moment.
hahahaha.

addictive bha kpop ne.
dulu sa la yang paling x suka kpop.
sa ejek2 lagi adik & cousin2 sa sebab minat tul ne benda.
x faham sa apa yang menarik betul.
sekali, nah, ambik kau.
tiap blogpost pun pasal kpop ja.
kuang3x.
tu la, macam yang orang2 tua & orang2 yang x berapa tua cakap,
kalau kau berabis la cakap x suka, lama2 tesuka juga tu.

all & all, i'm glad i got into kpop.
full of entertainment & drama, just the way i like it.
so, what are you guys waiting for??
GET ADDICTED NOW!

Just a feeling.

2010-07-01T06:58:00.003+08:00

nah, ne la ne yang ditunggu2.
taeyang's album is finally out !
& it is h.o.t. just like his chocolate abs :D
~~1st july~~, checked.

now to wait for 3rd july.
tapi yang ne tak la ditunggu sangat ~
i can totally imagine what awaits me.
'HELL' 'O' uitm sabah :)

oh, i decided to put up my old blogposts from 2009.
ahhh..the good ol' times...
penuh dengan kelucuan.
sekarang?
T_T

1st is wayyy better than 3rd.

2010-06-27T03:01:00.002+08:00

young bae is the man!

this summer belongs to YG family yo.

just my luck :(

2010-06-24T03:48:00.000+08:00

i got offered to do my degree in admin science, at uitm SABAH.
i know, i know, "at least it's close to your home",'blahblahblah...'
but.........
sigh.
terima ja la dulu.
so, uitm kk, here i come. be nice to me kay ;)

turn it up now.

2010-06-16T15:40:00.000+08:00

this is e.p.i.c.
expect nothing less from the great T.O.P.
cant wait for his full mv to come out.
& also Taeyang's full album.
it's YG family galore.
ahhh..kpop. me likey :)))))

why?

2010-06-14T00:22:00.000+08:00

matt bellamy is dating kate hudson?
bloody hell ;(((

kpop goodies.

2010-06-09T17:01:00.002+08:00

lol. i feel you minho.
btw, why are you so hot? *fangirl mode
haha. kpop guys are just delishhhh ;p
eye candy FTW.

did gbom love each other?

2010-06-08T00:22:00.001+08:00

i hope so :)
they'll make a great couple.

Ask me anything

current news.

2010-06-07T15:25:00.001+08:00

hahahahahaaaahahahhaha.
lucu bha ne benda ne..
sa ter-baca something tadi, terus kan,.
wah, i cant believe my eyes owh.
besar terus mata sa ter-baca apa yang kena tulis tu.
tsk2, macam2 ja owh yang jadi sekarang.
what is the world coming to, i really have no idea.

_________________________________________________________________________________

anyway, bagusla teda lagi drama. teda lagi gaduh2 pa semua.
maybe this wont fix our relationship but still, it's better than nothing.
hoho :)
habis cerita.

bye.

for you haters out there :)

2010-06-03T21:28:00.000+08:00

def. of libel

2010-06-02T23:11:00.003+08:00

1 a : a written statement in which a plaintiff in certain courts sets forth the cause of action or the relief sought b archaic : a handbill especially attacking or defaming someone
2 a : a written or oral defamatory statement or representation that conveys an unjustly unfavorable impression b (1) : a statement or representation published without just cause and tending to expose another to public contempt (2) : defamation of a person by written or representational means (3) : the publication of blasphemous, treasonable, seditious, or obscene writings or pictures (4) : the act, tort, or crime of publishing such a libel

hi.

2010-05-21T16:29:00.001+08:00

seriously, what the F is wrong with you?

note: take a good look at yourself before you start talking crap bout others. what happen to 'enough is enough?'. geez, guess some people just dont know when to stop. you are making a complete fool of yourself la. aishh. susah2.

jangan perasan, tu ja nasihat sa :)

ACE !!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-04-22T12:42:00.002+08:00

why are you dead???????
why??????????
:'(

honestly,

2010-04-17T04:10:00.000+08:00

i'd like to make your life a living hell, like, literally.
but instead, i'll just sit back and watch you do it yourself :)
you know, with all your hating and stuff.
i'm sure with your level of intelligence you will get that hating people will not take you anywhere.
grow up. i did, and i swear it aint hard, if you just try.

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. ~Herman Hesse

formspring.me

2010-03-08T02:04:00.004+08:00

Single/taken?

single & not looking :)

Ask me anything

2010-03-04T03:58:00.000+08:00

I'm trying to erase your scent now
I'm trying to forget your touch now
Why did you have to be like that
I can't believe it, in the end you were that sort of guy

I'm trying to find my life now
I'm trying to meet my friends now
You obviously lied, and again, like a fool
I doubted that it was true

Can you please take away all the promises you made?
Even the petty habits, even the small memories
I'll burning them all away
I'm putting you, who lives in me, to sleep
The image of me you knew up till now won't exist anymore

In the club, tonight, for him
In the club, I'll give him my everything
In the club, just like the way you were with that girl
I'll love easily

In the club tonight, for him
In the club, I'll give him my everything
In the club, please embrace my painful scars too
So that only for tonight, I'd be able to forget you

See your figure dancing inside the dazzling light
You place your hand on the hip of first girl you see
In the loud club, I shout out louder for you
You seem like you don't even hear a thing

Tonight, I'll also forget you for a while
I'll erase all the pictures of you and me on my desk
It's tiring, I want to escape from you but
Why do I keep remembering you? I'm not okay

Can you please take away all the promises you made?
Even the petty habits, even the small memories
I'll burning them all away
I'm putting you, who lives in me, to sleep
The image of me you knew up till now won't exist anymore

In the club, tonight, for him
In the club, I'll give him my everything
In the club, just like the way you were with that girl
I'll love easily

In the club tonight, for him
In the club, I'll give him my everything
In the club, please embrace my painful scars too
So that only for tonight, I'd be able to forget you

When this night completely ends
Seems like I'll be left alone in my room
Seems like I'll be crying like a fool
I still see you in my dreams
Now I'll let you go
You shouldn't look for me again either

In the club, tonight, for him
In the club, I'll give him my everything
In the club, just like the way you were with that girl
I'll love easily

In the club tonight, for him
In the club, I'll give him my everything
In the club, please embrace my painful scars too
So that only for tonight, I'd be able to forget you

formspring.me

2010-03-03T04:06:00.001+08:00

berapa uda berat ko?hahhaa

banuk ne kan? hahah. yg pntg lbh rngan dr kau. muahaha

Ask me anything

you better get yours, cause im gettin mine.

2010-03-02T04:48:00.000+08:00

Come in, come in, come into another world
Turning back from the tiresome worries
La la la la to my natural hum
Ha ha ha ha so no one can ever sneer at you

Now let's dance dance dance (Wanna get down)
I have a rather big dream dream dream
Cause I can do whatever I want with the world
For the great freedom tonight, tonight oh

My eyes are filled with shining stars
Even the light burning in my heart
Won't be forever, there's nothing to lose
Oh oh oh oh (Oh oh oh oh)
Oh oh oh oh yeah

I want to go go go go go go go crazy
I want to run run run run run run run faster
To those tall buildings, towards the blue sky
I want to shout shout shout shout shout shout shout loudly

You got the fire, my heart goes bump bump bump
You gotta drop it like it's hot
Don't try to stop it now, ooo
The fire, my mind goes boom boom boom
I gotta drop it like it's hot
Don't try to stop it (Hey)

Get up, get up, get up even if you fall down a lot
Even if the world I trusted in betrays me again
I I I I will never cry like a fool
Oh no no no, don't act sneaky like others do

I'll bring you all the way to the end, follow, follow me
My heart's running fast enough to make me run out of breath
Somehow I don't hate it, I'm having fun
Don't be afraid, let it go
To a better tomorrow
Le-le-le-le-le-le-let's go!

My eyes are filled with shining stars
Even the light burning in my heart
Won't be forever, there's nothing to lose
Oh oh oh oh (Oh oh oh oh)
Oh oh oh oh yeah

I want to go go go go go go go crazy
I want to run run run run run run run faster
To those tall buildings, towards the blue sky
I want to shout shout shout shout shout shout shout loudly

Scream!

So that your hair flutters flutters flutters flutters
Shake your booty gently gently gently gently
So that your hair flutters flutters flutters flutters
Shake your booty gently gently gently gently

Shake it UH

I want to go go go go go go go crazy
I want to run run run run run run run faster
To those tall buildings, towards the blue sky
I want to shout shout shout shout shout shout shout loudly

I always want to be free like today
Heh-

oh my friend !

2010-03-01T18:40:00.000+08:00

OMO, childish much ? haha.
nice to know that you still have some sense behind that pretty face though.
ahhh~ it's settled then. finally (took us long enough) we can say, IT'S OVER.
funny how things worked out. maybe we should have done this from the beginning.
things took turn for the worst. not the outcome i fancied most, nevertheless, what's past is past. moving on is the best answer.

with this, there will be officially no more post about _______ (fill in the blank)

from now on, i'll only post bout my boring life that people will probably get bored with, tapi suka hati saya la. tetap mau post gak. kan GD?

ahhaha.ne baru la betul2 addicted.
takpa2, just dont let your addiction get in the way of your studies cukup la.

sama2 la kita bear this in mind k.

rena still tak balik lagi, memang dia enjoy gila2 la dekat kL tu.

jealousssss. i was supposed to go there too you know, back to my aunt's place.

tapi, fikir2 balik, tak payah la.

nothing in particular that i wanna do there pun.

was thinking of meeting up with hanna, but figured that she must be busy. yala, dia kan da degree, law pulak tu. hehe. once more, jealoussss. hehe. next time perhaps...

(WARNING : READ THIS PART ONLY IF YOU ARE A ~~KPOP~~ G-BOM FAN)

last night i was on my stalking mode, AGAIN, and much more sure now that there is definitely something going on between G-BOM.

i mean, 2 people having the same symbol on their autograph?

call me stupid, but anyone can probably tell whether that is a coincidence or not.

now, you guys semua pandai2 kan ? so you can guess what the answer is.

ahh~ i'm so happy if those two are really together. the butterfly and her prince.

seriooooously, i never thought that i will be so much into kpop.

i was always teasing my little sister & my cousins, yang memang gila2 hardcore fan kpop ne.

but, when i heard BB's songs, what more can i say, this group is really different than other kpop groups.

that's why i only listen to them, & the female version of BB, 2ne1 of course.

other than that, no thank you.

i have a whole folder specially for BB okay, with pictures, songs, videos. even my wallpaper is a picture of kwon-leader himself. here's proof : (see the red circle there? thats the folder yo)

18 more days til i get back home.

im soooo gonna download much more songs and videos of BB & G-BOM,

and watch the j-drama dvds i bought online.

cant wait !!!

(i'm a freak, i know)

with that, we're out !

i dont care, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh

2010-03-01T01:57:00.006+08:00

"dear laptop, please get away from me, as i need to start studying" (kan best kalau laptop ne faham). haish.
online, online, online. my paper is about 2 weeks from now.
i know, lambat lagi kan. tapi, tak mau la macam dulu2, last minute baru start buat notes and study.
the outcome? hah, serves me right, thats all i can say. tak guna da menyesal. nasi dah jadi bubur, so, all i can do is letak kicap & garam, then makan sampai kenyang.

tak sabar balik rumah, then can online some more. hahaha. ji-yong ah, wait for me !! (im Big Bang addicted, kalau tak faham, buat2 faham la k.)
anyway, im soo into k-pop at the moment.
most of my online time is spent by stalking Big Bang & 2ne1. G-BOM anybody? hehe. (again, buat2 faham)
mesti banyak yang tak faham kan. cakap pasal benda lain la.

so, in other note, i've decided, there's no use being friends with someone who only see the bad side of me.yes, i party, i do wild things sometimes, but, that doesnt really make me a bad person. just a normal one. you know the deal, enjoy life to the fullest, blah3, all those quotes.
mind you, im actually very, VERY eager to embrace the chance to experience life outside of my comfort zone, that is my beloved hometown, Sabah.
you'll understand if you were to be in my shoes. but since you're not, just judge me all you want, you'll never know what it's like to be me.

if you think it's all fun & games, you're sooo motherbloodyfucking wrong.
i've had my share of bad times, cried til i feel like dying, been through what you can call hell.
dont let my pictures in facebook or anywhere else fool you darling(s).
there's so much more stories behind that smile & pose.

jadi kawan2 sekalian, itu saja la cerita untuk hari ini k.
before that, some eye candy for kpop fans out there.
i present to you, every girl's desire.. (mine especially)

this is what i call pretty boy. saranghae ji-yong ah. ehehehhehe ( fan girl mode- ON)

ditto.

2010-02-22T03:18:00.002+08:00

right back at you darling :)

thanks for stalking me, delusional pyscho.

2010-02-09T23:19:00.008+08:00

STOP STALKING ! GET OVER YOURSELF, WILL YOU ? IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH ME, SAY IT TO MY FACE. NO NEED TO ACT ALL BITCHY IN YOUR BLOG. I LOOK AT EVERY UPDATES ON MY BLOGGER LIST. SO DONT FLATTER YOURSELF, THINKING THAT I ONLY READ YOURS. DONT CROSS THE LINE OK. I HAVE MY LIMITS. I THOUGHT WE ARE OVER THIS. A RIGHT TO EXPRESS YOUR OPINION HUH ? BULLSHIT. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS FOR NO REASON AT ALL. I DONT HAVE ANY INTEREST IN YOUR MAN. AND I DONT HAVE ANY INTEREST IN YOU. BUT IF YOU MESS WITH ME, THEN YOU GOT THE WRONG GIRL. I'M NOT BACKING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT. I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING WRONG TO YOU, AT ALL. YOU CALLING YOURSELF MATURE? I'VE SEEN MORE MATURITY IN A DOG. LAST WORDS FOR YOU, BRING IT ON !

18

2009-10-26T00:21:00.001+08:00

dah boleh beli rokok.

don't say if you don't really mean it.

2009-10-04T03:44:00.003+08:00

i do not wish to be too close with you.
i know i will be the one who ends up getting hurt.

_____________________________________________________________

we are getting closer to the finish line.
just another road to be taken then it will all be over.
the good and bad times will forever remains in a special spot inside the heart.
it's still early, but here, i'm saying goodbye, to uitm kedah. to all people in uitm kedah. and to kedah.
i do not wish to come back here.
pray so that i will continue my degree in shah alam.
Amen.

this is dedicated to you

2009-07-02T00:44:00.002+08:00

what i do is my own business. if you know anything about me, please, don't go spreading it around. Please don't judge me if you dont know the real story. if you want to know the truth, ask me yourself first. please, don't betray my trust towards you. ( keep in mind that i am only saying "IF" ) don't talk behind my back anymore, please. if you have anything to say, just say it directly. it is better if you just ask me. then there wont be any misunderstandings. FF

i miss you guys,

2009-06-25T23:59:00.005+08:00

fyi, tak ada sesiapa yang minta simpati, atau apa-apa yang berkaitan dengannya.
we are just merely expressing our thoughts and feelings.
after all, that is what owning a blog is all about, kan?

one thing i really dont understand is, why, after one finished reading a blog, he or she will quickly spread the word around, telling people about this and that, making up their own conclusions along the way. dude(s), keep it to yourself, will ya?

and to the people reading, tolong jangan perasan sangat. bukan semuanya tentang kamu.
tak payah terasa sangat, it's not like you're brad pitt or johnny depp, untuk kami tulis tentang kamu setiap masa. oh, this is not directed towards anyone in particular. saja tulis, so, again, jangan perasan sangat.

mungkin lepas ini perlu ikut seperti ama, as what she had posted here.
dont write anthing concerning anyone in uitm kedah anymore, only write about irrelevant things in life.
baru la, tak ada lagi sesiapa yang akan baca blog ni (padahal memang tak ada orang baca pun T_T)

haiihhhhhhhhhhhh. cant wait to get all this over with. want to go back home. i miss my cousins.

2009-06-21T02:31:00.000+08:00

i should have known that you cant be trusted. i was a fool thinking otherwise. this all started because of you, why cant you just keep what's private to yourself? why must all of the other people know?
now things are all messed up, because of YOU.
if this is how you want to play the game, then, fine, i'm totally up for it. we'll see who will win.
i will not give up, never. i'll make sure you pay the price for everything that you have done.
thanks for making me realize that i am truly the stupidest person that ever came into existence,
and that is all that i'm thankful to you for.

tak habis habis lagi,

2009-06-14T02:02:00.000+08:00

it's hard to just forgive and forget. things will never be the same between us.
&& to the so-called friends, ever happiness to all of you. xo

p:S//akhirnya dah beli lense. ahahha.

2009-06-10T23:47:00.000+08:00

through all the things that happened this past few days, now i know who my real friends are.
for the so-called friends, thanks. nice being friends with you people before.
Hana, Tyqa, Rena, thanks for being there for me when i needed you guys the most. i know i can trust the three of you. i apologise for some things that i have said, i really regret ever saying them.

SORRY FOR EVERYTHING.

2009-06-10T02:39:00.001+08:00

words cant describe how i feel.
emotions cant sum it up.
lyrics cant define the situation.
so tell me what is this?
this all falls onto you.
you only.

2009-06-10T02:26:00.000+08:00

kamu benci saya?
okay. faham. terima kasih kawan :)

2009-06-07T15:01:00.000+08:00

ruangan shoutbox terpaksa di-delete.
kenapa? terlampau banyak anonymous yang tak berani cakap depan-depan, yang tak berani bagitahu siapa mereka.
so, this post is dedicated especially to them.
let's start with the fact that, I know who you people are.
ya, memang saya bodoh, tak layak dianggap pandai, pointer pun turun, dah tak dapat 3 pointer lagi, but, i still have some sense in this useless brain of mine.
memang saya tahu kamu siapa. the so called friends of mine.
the thing is, when did i ever make any statement, claiming that i'm HOT?
seingat saya, macam tak pernah. eh2, tak, memang tak pernah pun. langsung.
jadi, jangan pandai-pandai cakap yang saya perasan HOT, sedangkan diri sendiri ni pun memang tak pernah anggap saya hot, cantik, boleh tahan, apa semua, because i know and can accept the fact that i am indeed ugly. just to clear things up.
tapi, saya tak kisah, kamu mahu cakap saya perasan atau apa, that's not the main thing.
one simple question, what did i ever do to you people that resulted in such anger and hatred towards me?
apa? boleh bagitahu?
mungkin saya ada cari pasal dengan family kamu, dengan saudara mara kamu, dengan girlfriend kamu atau siapa siapa yang ada kaitan dengan kamu? kalau ada, saya minta maaf. sangat sangat minta maaf.
saya tak mahu cari gaduh atau apa2 yang sewaktu dengannya, i just want to point out some things.
jangan risau, kita dah part 3 kan, sekejap lagi, then you people will never have to see my ugly face ever again.
just a little bit more.

p/s: my blog is going to be deleted. soon. too much drama.

2009-06-07T04:17:00.000+08:00

you should have known better.
don't try to change me.
i'm sorry, but it could never be.

you know who you are,

2009-06-07T04:02:00.000+08:00

tak kacau kau lagi.
jangan risau.
itu yang kau mau kan?
okay.
if that's the way you want us to be, then, i accept it, wholeheartedly.
terima kasih sebab layan saya dulu.
thanks, and goodbye. nice being friends with you :)

tahniah kepada anda.

2009-06-05T13:49:00.000+08:00

seriously, you guys rock my world.
tak sangka anda semua memang pantang dicabar. haha.

2009-05-17T03:04:00.000+08:00

there's no use saying anything anymore.
even if i say i'm done thinking about the past, and what could be. all i care about now is what is.
because i know, you wont believe me.

2009-05-15T16:46:00.000+08:00

there's got to be something freakishly wrong with me.
why am i missing that jerk?
him. the one that i hate, still.
oohhlalalaa.
must be starting to lose my mind.
here's what staying at home without your besties can do to you.
do to me, to be more precise.
i miss them all :((
ohh, emo much?
it's only been less than a WEEK.
screw it.
I MISS YOU GUYS!!!

2009-05-13T17:31:00.000+08:00

i cant write anything in this blog without being judged by people, huh?

this is getting too much.

p/s: u. i need some time off for myself. i'll contact u when i'm ready. ok. tc.

2009-05-08T18:21:00.000+08:00

bak kata mysuperabsolutebffinthiswholewideworld,
it's very rude to hung up on somebody without saying goodbye.
jadi, tolong sedar sikit, boleh tak "awak"?

just a healthy reminder.

2009-04-24T13:13:00.000+08:00

why cant some people just move on and stop reminiscing about the past?
i can. and i'm very sure that you also can.
things will change. and we just have to keep moving forward, instead of taking a backturn.
it's ok now and then, because sometimes looking at the past can make us realize our mistakes, and all the bullshit in hand.
but we can't let the past be the judge of the future. no we cant.
we cant let it control our lives.
we cant let it haunt us.

darling, just let go of it.
things have changed.
people have changed.
why cant you see that fact that is actually so clear, but is blurred by your own peripheral vision?
please. move on. stop listening to everyone else.
just believe in me.

" inside she's crying, her heart is bleeding, her tears keep falling, with nothing to believe in "

ntah laa.

2009-04-24T03:51:00.000+08:00

fullstop.
tak payah dengki, tak payah fikir bukan-bukan.

please.
just let me and him be.
no need to cause anymore misunderstandings between us.

pretty please?

just a few more to go.

2009-04-23T01:11:00.000+08:00

psychology, checked.
library, checked.

3 pointer or anything of that sort, hopeless :(

*laughing at my own stupidity

lepas cakap.

2009-04-20T02:27:00.000+08:00

dapat tanding awek dia?
pandai.
lawa.
baik.
ada bmw.
ada office sendiri.

no.
i can't.
but you dont have to throw that to my face,
do you?
a little sensitivity wont hurt sweetheart :)

2009-04-18T00:59:00.000+08:00

can somebody please knock some sense back into my head?

almost lover.

2009-04-17T16:37:00.000+08:00

i'm trying to put a happy face forward.
but i can swear deep inside i'm crying.
i still want him.
is that so wrong?

somebody please,bring me back to reality.

dia sangat kesian.

2009-04-12T21:01:00.000+08:00

handphone kamu hilang?
kesian.
kami semua tumpang risau.
kami cuba tolong kalau boleh.
jangan kusut sangat.
tak baik untuk kesihatan.
ada balasan untuk siapa yang "ter"-curi atau "ter"-ambil itu.
jadi,
senyum :)

2009-04-09T00:24:00.000+08:00

sumpahsumpahsumpahsumpahsumpahsumpah
I HAD ENOUGH.

honesty is the best policy people.

2009-04-07T20:01:00.000+08:00

finally,
this semester is nearly coming to its end.
i cant wait to get all this over with.
because,i think i had enough.
no,i'm sure,I HAD ENOUGH.
looking back,
i cant believe that i really survived.
this semester,
i have seen the best,and the worst in people.
and one thing that clearly shows for me is that,
for the people here,hypocrisy is the best policy.
fakers,posers,hypocrites,just name it,here in uitm kedah,there's lots of 'em.
even the people who i thought were close to me.
*by this i do not mean the munkies,rena,tyqa,hana :)
even that someone,whom i thought was special,is kind of a hypocrite as well.
it's too hard.
i can only hope that i can make it through.
and speaking of making it through,
when will i finally realize that i need to work harder on my studies?
damnn.

saya benci abang tom!

2009-04-06T22:46:00.000+08:00

again,it's all about myspace.
the reason of why we're fighting at the moment.
demmm yuu myspace.
ini balasan yang kau beri.
tak apa.
ada lori ada bas ada hari boleh balas.
*padahal addicted to myspace BODOH BETUL PEREMPUAN INI

masih ada lagi pula orang begini.

2009-04-05T00:41:00.000+08:00

Bila kita mabuk,kita fikir.
Okay memang stereotype bila orang fikir yang orang mabuk tak boleh berfikir lurus,
tapi mereka salah.
Hanya orang yang pernah mabuk sahaja faham.
Atau orang yang sedang mabuk.
Yes,
I got drunk yesterday.
Not too drunk.
Just drunk enough to think about some things that i should have given much thought into before.

Final dah dekat.
tapi,
sedihnya,
satu apa pun masih belum betul betul faham.
masih sibuk dengan hal hal lain seperti:

nak warna kuku dengan warna apa hari ini?
lambatnya rambut nak panjang balik.
kenapa luka di kaki masih belum sembuh?
wah banyaknya friend request di myspace.
yes dia sms lagi.

haihhh.
bila la nak sedar yang diri sendiri masih belum berapa nak pandai.
ohh,
satu lagi.
perhatian.
saya tak suka bila kamu suka hati cakap yang saya dengan dia ada apa apa.
kalau ya pun,bukan hal kamu kan?
tapi saya tak cakap ya.
:)

best friend,saya suka kamu,

2009-04-01T03:48:00.000+08:00

they say feelings can change.
you will never know how you might feel about that particular person in the future.
benda ini memang terbukti betul.
sendiri dah rasa,
kawan baik pun dah rasa.
tapi psycho belum faham satu apa pun.
okay dah obviously off topic.
mungkin sebab period pain.
dah, sambung baca.

*sekadar gambar hiasan

april fool memang best.

2009-04-01T02:30:00.001+08:00

happy 42nd birthday mom.
i love you with all my heart and soul.
thanks for everything.

of law fest and stupidity.

2009-03-28T12:14:00.001+08:00

1,2,3,start.

law fest is officially over.
all the hard work that the people involved had put in making law fest ran smoothly was worth it.
it went out without a hitch,
all the things went out great(in my opinion),
all the performances,fashion shows,the montages that they presented were awesome(again,in my opinion,although i know a lot will agree with this)
but,
there's but.
law fest also brought out something that is kind of there all along,
but never actually been proven to be true before.
it is the complete and utter stupidity of some of the pre law students.
(SOME,ok.)

bodoh.
kamu kamu sekalian.
dah tak ada kerja lain yang boleh dibuat,
selain mengutuk orang yang bersusah payah berlatih untuk menjayakan law fest ini??
apa bodoh sangat,
tak pernah ke tadika atau sekolah rendah atau sekolah menengah atau apa apa sekolah sebelum TER-masuk ke uitm ini?
yang kamu kamu bodoh sangat mahu mengutuk performer yang obviously lebih hebat dari kamu kerana ada bakat dan berani naik ke atas pentas,bukan seperti kamu,itu kenapa??
PLEASE la.
ingat diri kamu perfect sangat??
mahu cakap pasal kekurangan orang lain??
kesian.jelas terbukti,YOU GUYS DONT HAVE A LIFE.
kalau ada pun,
mesti life yang sangat bosan dan menyedihkan,
kerana tiada apa apa bakat yang boleh dipersembahkan,
and dont have other things to do other than mocking someone else,only in attempt to cover your own insecurities.
sangat LAME,sangat PATHETIC,sangat BODOH.

woii bodoh.
sedar la diri tu sikit ok.
kamu tu senior.
sepatutnya lebih beradab,lebih berpelajaran,lebih matang dari kami junior junior ini.
tak sangka .
SESETENGAH senior sangat bodoh.
it's a shame that you guys are pre law students.
patutlah pre law banyak didiskriminasi oleh pelajar course course lain,
ini kerana ada orang orang bodoh seperti kamu.
dah la.
it's a waste of time talking about you guys.
it's not even worth it.
BODOH.

(okay sila kira sekarang berapa perkataan bodoh yang ada di entri ini)

phewww.

2009-03-26T12:50:00.000+08:00

lega.
problem da setel.
salah faham da selesai.
sangap da tak sangap.
terima kasih kepada orang yang berkaitan.

sejarah tercipta.

2009-03-26T03:18:00.000+08:00

7 post dalam masa satu hari.
hahahahahahahahah

2009-03-26T02:42:00.001+08:00

belog adalah tempat meluahkan perasaan.
bukan untuk salah faham.

2009-03-26T01:59:00.000+08:00

sebenarnya post "kamu , kamu" itu ditujukan kepada encik ayam.
sebab pagi tadi sewaktu kelas bel260,
kejadian berlaku di mana ayam cakap,
saya ada kutuk dia di belog ini.
tak kutuk encik ayam.
sekadar bagi pendapat.
tak percaya cuba baca sendiri.
yala itu pun kau dengar dari orang lain kan.
teheeeheee.
sorry ayam nama kau ada lagi.
terima kasih

2009-03-26T01:12:00.000+08:00

My Personality


Neuroticism	65
Extraversion	54
Openness to Experience	98
Agreeableness	31
Conscientiousness	37

You do not usually get angry too easily but some things can annoy you, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. People generally perceive you as distant and reserved, and you do not usually reach out to others. You have good access to and awareness of your own feelings. You are tenderhearted and compassionate, feeling the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity, however you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. You are guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about yourself. Mostly you work towards achieving your best, although in some areas you are content just to get the job done.

masih di tahap fikiran budak perempuan 14 tahun.

2009-03-26T00:02:00.000+08:00

sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorrry
________________________

i admit that i was a bit,(oh tipu)
actually veryvery jealous when i found out about that.
but now.
its all over,
finally(after all this time)
i realized that it's not love.
its just a stupid crush(dipengaruhi oleh lagu crush-david archuleta)
macam budak perempuan umur 14 tahun yang rasa kononya dia jumpa true love tapi sebenarnya its just the feeling of wanting someone to be yours.
that's not love
it's just plain stupidity.
i just love the feeling of feeling that im in love with him(faham kan?)
because you've got to admit,
he's cute.
:)
tak sehensem amar tapi ok laaa.
(amar, sila belanja makan)
dia ganjil.
and thats what i like about him.
like ok,bukan love.

eh,
yaka??
(confuse)

kamu kamu.

2009-03-25T23:33:00.001+08:00

i want us to go back to the way we used to be.
please.

_____________________________________________________________

btw,
belog ini bukan untuk mengutuk orang atau bahasa lainnya mengumpat.
the posts here are my own words,my own opinion,my own feeling,my own point of view.
bila dah baca, tak perlu ungkit.
diam cukup.
bagi pendapat boleh.
tapi,
ada tapi.
baik baik la sikit.
boleh kan?
:)

why oh why.

2009-03-25T19:51:00.000+08:00

test library.
test law.
test psycho.
forum bel313.
assignment library.
finals which is about 4 weeks from now(i think)
yes.
please kill me.

truly heartbroken.

2009-03-25T18:30:00.000+08:00

the title says it all.

dearly beloved

2009-03-24T14:49:00.000+08:00

sorry for keeping what we have as a secret.
people will talk.
and although i really want to say that i dont give a damn about what they will say,
i know deep down i dont really mean it.
yes,i do care about others opinion if they know about this thing that we have.
im sorry.

a tragic loss

2009-03-24T01:56:00.000+08:00

rest in peace my dear cousin.
we will always have a special place in our heart just for you.
may god bless your soul.

2009-03-22T12:16:00.000+08:00

feelings can change.
i know that.
and i know now,
my crush is still on.
not fair to some people but,
i cant help it.
thats just the way i feel.
i'm sorry.

a day in history.

2009-03-17T04:04:00.000+08:00

i really dont understand how lecturers boleh berdiri di depan semua orang dan bercakap.
ia SANGAT SUSAH!
dah terbukti tadi time lecture law,
where our group have to present our assignment in the lecture hall,
depan semua orang.
dayyuummm.
bayangkn la berapa bnyk org ada.
nasib baik x buat apa2 yg memalukan diri sendiri.
presentation agak ok laa.
walaupun time apek tanya soalan semua kami gelabah.
haha.
tp all and all,
kira ok.
amin.

_____________________________________________________

16march2009.
a date to remember.
presentation and declaration.
:)

pictures time.

2009-03-15T11:56:00.000+08:00

let the pictures do the talking.

memories and moving on

2009-03-15T11:26:00.000+08:00

x sia2 rm80.
trip g kl,walaupun lbh kpada trip to shah alam mang agak best.
ya, di sini saya mengatakan "agak" best sebab ada sebab tersendiri.
get it?
ok,

lets start with some details bout the trip.
sampai g wisma 'ntah-pa-nama-da lupa' tu lebih krg kul 12.
pagi ok.
check in bilik.
master mang baikkkk hatiii sngt.
hahaha.
dia bg kami bilik yg best.
katil,aircond,cermin yg besar,semua ada.
lebih best,kmi 4 ja lam bilik 2.
thank you master.
heheh.

then around 2a.m,
turun bawah,
lepak ngan ayam n d geng.
x best.
sebab?
kami dipandang slack oleh sesetengah orang.
terutamanya yours truly.
oleh siapa?
nama dirahsiakan untuk melindungi maruah pesalah.
tp x kisah laa.
whatever bak kata org.
lepas balik bilik,
jdi kuli sementara untuk amar n adam.
gosok baju topman.
haha.

then,
borak dengan orang 2 sampai kul 6 pg.
best?
ya kot.
;p

13hb,
pegi yayasan...(pn lupa nama tempat).
walaupun tempat tu agak boring,
tp okk laa.
then pegi PALACE OF JUSTICE.
ok nama tempat ne saya ingat,
bab seriously,
sana best.
x boring langsung okk.
jd,
pada yang x dapat ikut trip ne,
anda memang missed out.
SERIOUS SANGAT BEST DI PALACE OF JUSTICE BEST BEST BEST
ok cukup.
hahaha sorry x sengaja wat kmu2 yg x dpt ikut jeles.
ok2.
then come saturday,
went to UIA n UM.
lagi x best.
boring,library dorg x best pn.
lagi2 kna marah dengan budak PART3.
kena tanya,
"ni apasal xpakai tudung ni?
x g briefing ke ari tu?
kn da cakap mesti pakai tudung lawat UIA?
dan BLABLABLA.
sory ckit.
korg x bagitau pn MESTI pakai tudung.
even for non muslim,or specifically,RENA n I.
lain kali,
bagitau terang2.
n,
lau mau tegur,
tegur elok2.
xpyh marah marah okkkaaayyyy?
please,
grow up.
and please,
xpyh la berlagak superior sangat.

lepas dah habis melawat,
time to go back to uitm kedah tercinta.
(kononnya la tercinta.)
semua x mau balik.
semua mau lupa yang besok terpaksa pergi kelas.
tapi,
apakan daya(cehhcehh ayat)
terpaksa.
haihhh.
gudbye bilik beraircond.
gudbye palace of justice yang BESTBESTBEST(ok masih x puas wat org jeles)
gudbye shah alam.
and hell-o kedah.
miss me?
:)

2009-03-11T06:02:00.000+08:00

its not that i hate yous,
i just dont like yous.
by i, i do mean we.
:)

sleeping with the enemy,literally.

2009-03-11T04:17:00.000+08:00

oh assignment.
why do you have to exist.
isnt it enough to torture us with all the tests and the exams?
kesian hana.
da susah2 type panjang2,
hilang semua.
xpa2.
malam msh muda.
walaupun sekarang da pagi.
exactly 4.21 a.m.
still up trying to finish our assignment.
danggg.
i hate staying up this late.
hasnt done any justice to my eyebags.
sighhhh.
the phrase beauty sleep is non-existent to me.
to all of us.
i hate assignments.
from now on,
it is my sworn enemy.
___________________________________________________

oh.please dont say it if you dont really mean it.
x.sa x marah.
x.ko x wat silap.
tp,
tolong jan men2.
ok?
ok.
:)

da la.bgs tanya sa sendiri.

2009-03-10T00:49:00.000+08:00

hana da sampai.
yeaahh.
heheh.
munkies da united balik.
dia bawa cerita.
cerita yg x berapa sedap didengar.
pasal orang tu,
pasal orang ni.
pasal sa sendiri.

regarding my previous post 2.
actually,
x ada maksud apa2.
tp,
napa perlu gtau semua org?
mcm x perlu ja.
x payah la suruh orang tu tanya orang ni.
and so on.
kalau betul mau tau,
why dont you ask me yourself?

crush masih x bagi respon.
haha.
this is what you guys wanna read right?
about the so called "crush".
ya ya ya ya dan ya.
apa yg kamu fikir,
semua ya.
betul.
sangat betul.
sayang?
sangat sayang.
ok cukup.

for you.

2009-03-10T00:34:00.000+08:00

regarding to my previous post,
be honest;please,
the part "your hand is warm",
doesnt mean anything.
it doesnt refer to anybody who were with me at that moment.
so.
please.
jangan salah faham.
jangan pandai pandai cakap kalau kamu x tau.
ok?
x perlu sibuk.

p/s: sesiapa,sila terasa.

betul kn?

2009-03-09T03:37:00.000+08:00

kalau suka,
bagitau.
sama ada org tu suka ko jg atau x,
tu laen ceta.
yg penting,
ko suka dia.

betul kn?
:)

be honest;please.

2009-03-07T09:52:00.000+08:00

2 malam,
overnite penang.
best.
oh,
your hand is warm.
saya suka.
:)
_________________________________________________________________

i thought i'm over that crush.
rupanya x.
hmm.
:(